Life Out of Balance? Here are Some Tips to Fix It

As this year draws to a close, many of us will breathe a collective sigh of relief and whisper (or shout) “Thank goodness that’s over!”   Our thought being, of course, that next year will just naturally be better.  And in many ways it’s bound to be. But here’s the thing. If you really want YOUR life to be better it requires some planning.  It requires thinking about where in your life you were “out of balance” this year and making some specific goals that will help you get back into balance next year.

Let’s do an exercise. Close your eyes. No wait. Read this first. Then close your eyes. Imagine you are standing in the center of a circle – the circle of your life. There are eight sections in the circle, each representing a different aspect of your life:

1. Career/Business
2. Financial
3. Friends/Family
4. Health/Fitness
5. Personal Growth
6. Play/Fun
7. Significant Other
8. Spiritual

Now. Think about your life today and where – in that circle – you spend the majority of your time and effort. Is it in your career or business?  Probably true for many of us. Is it worrying about your financial situation? Is it at the gym trying to forget about your career and your financial situation? What other aspects of your life are you neglecting in the process? Is your circle leaning significantly in one direction? Time for a change. If you truly want next year to be better you need to get your circle back into balance. Here’s how.

1. Assess. Think about each of the eight aspects and how much attention you pay to them. Then rank each of them from 1 to 10 with 1 being “I pretty much neglect it” and 10 being “I spend most of my time and effort here.”
2. Review. What patterns do you see? What has been the impact – on you, on the neglected areas?
3. Recharge. Change the “out of balance” pattern by creating one or two SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound) in each area of your life. These are not New Year’s resolutions that you’ll have forgotten by January 5, but reasonable goals that will help you pay attention to ALL aspects of your life.
4. Commit. Write the goals down. Put a due date on them. Share them with someone who will keep you accountable. Better yet, find an accountability partner who will recharge their circle of life and then you can keep each other accountable. It’ll increase the fun factor, too.
5. Maintain. Keep checking your balance throughout the year to ensure that it doesn’t get off kilter. There will be times when you need to focus in one area more than the rest. That’s natural. But assess, review and recharge on a regular basis to ensure that you don’t let that one aspect of your life cause you to sacrifice the others.

Here’s to a balanced and AMAZING 2013!

Till next time,

Karen

There’s a Reason It’s Not Called a Workation. Time to Unplug!!

Imagine this: sitting on the beach, feet in the sand, watching the ocean waves.  There are surfers, and kids playing, and swimmers riding the waves.  Laughter is all around. You cannot believe you are lucky enough to be surrounded by so much beauty.  Oh my…you are actually relaxing…NOT!!!

Suddenly your PDA rings and texts start flying in…there’s another crisis at the office…they need you…and just for a 15-minute call. They promise.  Only one, 15-minute call.  And…we all know what happens next.  You are walking back to the cottage, turning on your laptop and logging in. You tell the family, “I promise, I’ll be back in less than an hour!”  They all nod knowingly…there ain’t no chance that will be happening. Three hours later you are back at the beach.  Clouds have rolled in, the ocean is roaring, and the lifeguards have called all swimmers out of the water.  The decision is made…might as well leave the beach now…it’s too cold to stay. That split-second of relaxation has passed.  Oh well, tomorrow is another day, and I just know I’ll be able to recapture that “state of bliss.”

Does this sound familiar?  Of course it does.  We’ve all been there.  And we swear to anyone who will listen that the next vacation will be different.  But the words are so empty you don’t even believe them yourself anymore.

Exhausting, isn’t it?

In fact, I’m exhausted just writing this.  We all work hard, no matter what our line of work.  And for those who are not in the work world right now, you are working probably harder than anyone else just trying to find your next opportunity.  Everyone I speak to is just “tired.”  It’s as simple as that…and…

We need to get back to basics: we have vacations for a reason.

Let’s compare our bodies and human spirit to a car. We all know that if we don’t properly maintain our car – adequate fuel, regular oil changes, periodic service checks, etc. – it’s going to stop operating effectively.  The same can be said for us. Yet how often do we work through lunch, put in the long hours, check emails/voicemails on weekends, put off vacation…in essence, go WAY beyond the recommended mileage for our body/spirit “service checks”? With our car there’s a little light that comes on when it’s time for service or you’re low on gas. Maybe that’s what we need as humans, a yellow light that comes on when it’s time for maintenance: Impending danger ahead if you don’t stop and take care and nurture your body and spirit.

I have a novel idea…how about taking a vacation and actually taking a vacation.  Go to the beach or to the mountains or to whatever place makes you happy.  Unplug…and enjoy the beauty Mother Nature has provided us.  When was the last time you sat long enough to just enjoy nature?  How could you possibly do that, you ask? Print out this list:

• Put your PDA in a drawer. If it has a lock, even better.
• Tell work you are unavailable. If you have to stretch the truth a bit and say you’ll be in an area with NO cell service, do it. You are NOT available.
• Wherever you go, ENJOY! Play a bit, sit still, don’t sit still, climb a mountain, don’t climb a mountain…who cares…just breathe.
• Be ON VACATION.  There’s a reason it’s not called a WORKATION!
• Return recharged, reinvigorated and ready to be “more than just your work.”

Remember what we already know: at the end of our time here on earth, not one of us will be wishing we had worked more and played less. Go on vacation and be on vacation. I promise you, your work will be there when you get back.

Till next time,

Karen

Who is THE Boss? Is There a Question? Talk About an Extraordinary Leader!

There is not one question in my mind about who is “THE Boss.”  I am fresh off my gazillionth Bruce Springsteen concert.  This show was in San Jose, at the HP Pavilion on April 24, 2012.

Let’s talk about Leadership, Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band.

Full disclosure…I am a Jersey Girl…

Bruce Springsteen is an extraordinary leader.  What makes an extraordinary leader, you ask?  Let me give you the top qualities and explain.

First, some context – Bruce is 62 years old, has 20 albums over a span of 40 years, 21 Grammy Awards, one Academy Award, two Golden Globes, and has sold more than 120 million albums globally.  He has been married since 1991 and has 3 children.

There are multiple qualities that make an extraordinary leader. I will look at 5 of those qualities and put them in Bruce-eze.

1. TRUST – When a fan walks into a Bruce show there is one thing that is absolute – and that is: we know and trust that Bruce will give every ounce he has to the performance.  His expectation is that the E-Street Band will do the same…and…the fans will do the same.  There is an unbreakable code of trust that we are all in the same place to rock, dance, forget whatever else is going on in our lives, and have a grand ol’ time.
2. COMMUNICATION – Watching Bruce and the E-Street band on stage is like watching a mime speak.  He nods his head and the band all seem to know exactly what he is saying.  It is as if they have their own language. It’s amazing to watch.  The same communication happens with his fans.  Bruce puts out the microphone and we sing.  Bruce puts up his hand for silence, and we are quiet.  Bruce is not afraid to express his opinion.  Just read The Rolling Stone article in the March 2012 issue.  He communicates clearly, is very open and heartfelt (especially about losing his band mate and friend Clarence Clemons) and has a backbone.  Not everything he says is popular, and he still has the guts to speak his mind.
3. VISION – Bruce has known since an early age that he wanted to play music and he has never wavered.  He has said in interviews that he couldn’t do anything else.  His vision incorporates being true to himself, speaking his mind, loving what he does, surrounding himself with a strong community and not compromising.
4. INSPIRING – The man oozes inspiration. He loves what he does. It is contagious.  When you are at a Bruce concert you are in for the treat of a lifetime. It is part rock concert, part community rally, part spiritual awakening…dance-fever, party, sing-along and just a damn happy crowd of people!!  I always walk away wanting to be certain I am listening to my “soul” and living my life to the fullest.
5. LEAVING A LEGACY – I think all of the above sums up Leaving a Legacy clearly.  And if that is not enough to substantiate Bruce’s legacy, The University of Southern Indiana is again partnering with Monmouth University and Penn State Altoona to offer the 2012  “Glory Days: A Bruce Springsteen Symposium,” devoted to the life, work, and influence of Bruce Springsteen.

What a lesson in extraordinary leadership – be true to who you are, love what you do, build a community of people with similar values, speak your mind and never compromise.  It’s time to form our own E-Street Band…

Till next time,

Karen

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Dollars on My Mind

Let’s continue our walk through The Get Real Guide to Your Career.  We’ve been very busy in the last seven blogs taking inventory of who we are today.  We’ve looked at skills we want to use, our values, the natural talents that make us who we are, and of course, we’ve even looked at the themes that are the foundation for our accomplishments and  have established our career path.

No Running Away!

Now…it’s time to look at the one area people normally run away from screaming – the dreaded financial conversation.  I can already hear you all saying “I’ll wait till Karen’s next blog.  I’m cool with money; I don’t need to look any closer.”  And…I can even hear “has she gone completely nuts?  Why do we have to discuss money?  I was having so much fun rediscovering who I am.”  Yep…I’ve heard it all…and…I doubt there will be much that will surprise me.  So, here’s a thought…just keep reading for a minute and see whether you can power through without shutting down.

The Financial Conversation with yourself…

I know that the financial conversation can bring up emotions we don’t want to deal with.  The financial conversation can remind us of our upbringing, it can remind of us what we haven’t achieved and it can remind us of how incredibly lucky we are to be where we are today.  My vote, let’s go with the last one and be very grateful for where we are today.  Remember…success is defined by each of us individually, and we have to judge our success on ‘our terms.’  Our financial situation don’t define our success, and it is only one component of our life.  As we look back at all we have learned so far, maybe we can take the “charge” out of the money conversation and realize our life is made up of multiple successes and experiences, and that darn money part is just a piece of the entire picture.

You’ve got to SEE it to internalize it!

So…let’s go for it.  You might as well get out your paper and pencil because you know what’s coming.  Ya gotta write it down.  Ya gotta see it to internalize it and make some shifts.

As we begin thinking about what’s next, and the financial rewards we want with our new career role, we also have to think about our financial requirements today – what we will need to sustain our lifestyle while we look for that next opportunity.  The first part should be fairly easy for us to define.  What are your current fixed expenses?  Those bills that you know have to be paid each month:  mortgage/rent; auto and health insurance; car payment; child care.  Well, you get it.  We all have our fixed expenses, so really think that through and get it down on paper and total the amount.  See that wasn’t so painful, was it?

Now let’s think about our variable expenses:  groceries; gasoline; credit cards; eating out; entertainment; clothing; shoes (a girl’s gotta have a new pair of shoes – maybe that should be in the fixed category!)  Again, you get the idea.  Write down the approximate amount you spend in each category and get your total.

How about those savings?  What amount of accessible funds do you have available (just in case you need them):  savings; stocks/bonds; IRAs; change in the piggy bank; money stuffed in the mattress.  Get it down on paper.  I am in no way suggesting you use your accessible funds; however, it is always good to understand the amount of money you have, where it is and how to get it if necessary.

Remember, this is all so we can truly understand how much money we need/want to make in our next position.  Some people will be thrilled with their current financial situation and will not want to take big risks for big rewards.  Other people might want to take some bigger risks so there is a bigger payment in the end.  All of this is an individual decision and needs to be based on what is best for you.

Time to do some discovery work on what you are looking for from a total compensation perspective.  It is important that you understand your salary/income requirements prior to your search.  This will be based on your target market – including geographic location, industry or type of organization, position/function (all coming in future blogs).  Look at your requirements in the following five categories.  List what you:  a) would like, and b) what you are willing to take in each category.  Be realistic.  Or…maybe you can dream a little bit and have two lists.  Why not?  One that is realistic, and one that is completely out there in dreamland.  You are going to write that book you know is in you, get on Oprah and become a zillionaire!!

1. Base salary
2. Commission
3. Bonus
4. Benefits
5. Other (stock, signing bonus, extra vacation time, etc.)

See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?  The salary conversation is often the hardest one to have and you need to really think it through.  That is why it is so important to be clear about your requirements and be able to clearly articulate them.  The more prepared you are, the easier it will be for you to answer the question “what are your salary requirements?”  You don’t want to hesitate…you want to be sure of yourself…and say exactly what you want.  Remember…if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will.

Hope this helped, and you don’t have knots in your stomach.  In fact, I hope this exercise took the knots away.  You are now clear about fixed and variable expenses.  You are clear about your compensation requirements, and you are very, very proud of where you are today.

Your success is defined by you and for you!

Remember…your success is defined by you and for you.  Don’t let anyone else place their values on you and tell you what success looks like for you and your life!

Here’s to the greenbacks coming your way!!!

Till the next time…Karen

Triumphs

It’s time to brag a little bit.  What are the chances you can do that? Of course, we all know people who brag a tad too much (so annoying)…and then there are those who don’t brag at all (even if they should)…As my Dad used to say to us growing up, “No one likes a show off.”  Needless to say, that has wreaked havoc in my life over the years.  Yes, another story completely!  I will spare you the details!

We’re now at the point in our adventure through The Get Real Guide where we begin thinking about the (Triumphs) we have had in our work life.  No matter what age we are, no matter what we do for a living, we have all had accomplishments that we need to be proud of, and be able to articulate clearly and concisely. When we are successful, it is often because we are applying our skills, natural talents and experience to achieve significant results.  Analyzing your key accomplishments will help you understand the skills and natural talents that helped you achieve them.

Remember when I wrote about our Natural Talents and how important it is to understand what they are, and how important they are to our success?  As we get ready to do our Triumphs exercise, we want to be certain we are acknowledging what those Natural Talents are.  Let me explain.

Yeppers…it is time for some work.  I know, I just can’t help myself, can I? I guess it’s the coach and/or nag (you decide your term) in me.  As we walk through The Get Real Guide, we need to do some work along the way.  Here goes:

Think back through your work life and your many accomplishments.  List 5 of your most significant accomplishments.  Now here is the important part – list the 5 significant accomplishments that you really loved achieving. We have all had accomplishments that –for many reasons-we do not want to repeat.  Today let’s focus on those accomplishments you just nailed and loved doing.  Think about them.  Take a walk down memory lane.  Smile a bit…remember who you were working with, the project, the environment, what were the deliverables?  Why was it a Triumph?

Now, get your list and next to each accomplishment, write the skill/natural talent/trait required to achieve that item.  Be very clear and concise.  Take a look – what are the recurring patterns or themes?  What are the skills and natural talents that are helping you be successful?  Once you determine those…bingo…you’ve got the language you will need as you begin thinking about a job promotion or a new job.  When you can articulate those skills and natural talents, the person you are talking to will be able to see and hear in your delivery the excitement, the energy, the confidence you have. People want to surround themselves with positive people. When you are talking about your Triumphs it is hard not to be positive.

Isn’t it fun just thinking about the good work you have done in the past? Go ahead…brag a little bit…just don’t tell my Dad!

Till the next time… Don’t Stop Believing!!!